Day 2 in Malta….the ultimate Segway experience

I woke up pretty early on my second day, and decided to head straight for the Beach Club for some serious swimming time. This was after ordering breakfast to my room – apparently asking for “a few pastries and some fruit” in Malta constitutes SEVEN pastries….SEVEN…and a bowl of pears. Random, but I went with it. Not forgetting my pikey roots, I stashed away half of the pastries to eat at lunchtime – I am nothing if not thrifty.

The next few hours were spent in the pool, which was surprisingly quiet. Most people appeared to be more enamoured with baking themselves to a crisp on the sunloungers – I’m more of a slather-on-the-factor-50-and-never-go-anywhere-without-a-hat gal, when it comes to strong heat. I even wear a hat when I’m swimming – I may not look hot, but avoiding sunstroke (and skin Cancer) is my main priority. Yeah, like I said….I err on the side of paranoid.

A rare sight of me actually sunbathing.
A rare sight of me actually sunbathing.

That being said, I had a bunch of books to work my way through, so SOME level of sunbathing was necessary. I’ve never really been able to enjoy it – there’s something unnatural about laying down next to a friend and not speaking for 3 hours, whilst you turn like rotisserie chickens trying to get an even tan. But this time, I was aone. Being alone gave me the total licence to lay down quietly and do whatever the hell I wanted, and I loved it. It was at this moment where I aknowledged to myself that there was literally no thought in my head.  Seriously – the only thought in my head was the fact that there was no thought in my head. It had been a long long time since I’d felt that relaxed.

But enough of that laziness, I had plans! I’d booked myself onto the 2pm segway tour in Valetta, Malta’s capital. Thanks to my extensive research prior to going, I’d worked out that whilst I’d like a tour of the capital (so that I knew what historical landmarks I was looking at without burying my head in a guidebook), I didnt want to do one of those all-day walking tours which leave you all sweaty and rancid. I stumbled upon the Segway tour idea and thought HELL. YES.

A total natural...
A total natural…

Guys, I’ve gotta tell ya…this was probably the highlight of my trip. I rocked up to the venue, after my first successful bus trip, which was actually Malta’s 5D theatre – it turned out that part of the 50euro segway package was a half hour 5d Malta experience in this bizarre little theatre. We were strapped into massive seats, given 4d glasses and headphones and proceeded to watch what was essentially a documentary about Maltas history. The chairs chucked us around in response to what was happening on the screen to make us feel like were were actually in this film thingy. Totally bizarre, but kinda fun. At one point, when the film depicted some snakes,  the bottom of the chairs started tickling our feet and I actually screamed like a moron.

After that randomness was over, George, the lovely Maltese Segway leader, greeted me and the chinese family who were also booked onto the tour. I, being a self-proclaimed Segway Pro (thanks to a Center Parcs trip 2 years ago) hopped right on and watched as the other practised their moves in a quiet alleyway.

Near the Lower Bastion Gardens

Once we were on the move, I don’t know if I have ever been quite so thrilled. There’s something totally cool and badass about whizzing through this old city at fairly high speeds, with good ol’ George booming out information and historical facts as we passed various sights and landmarks. St George’s Square was a highlight, and the Lower Bastian Gardens were gorgeous.  The Maltese are OBSESSED with the fact that Game of Thrones was filmed there, so George took us to see the fort and pier used in series 1. I dont watch GoH and could not have given less of a shit, but I feigned excitement for his sake, bless him.

Me and George!
Me and George!

I was pretty sad when it was all over, and George had to almost physically force me off the Segway. I obviously whacked out my selfie stick at this stage and insisted on a photo with him. He told me that he judged me a little bit for having “one of those bloody things”….George had his english colloquialisms DOWN…and I told him to pipe down. Oh, the banter….

Now I needed to get back to Sliema from Valetta, but thought no, I shall not get the bus, I shall mix things up and get the ferry instead. I personally think that was very brave of me considering that boats have always given me the worst kind of travel sickness…..*pats herself on the back*…but I figured I couldnt go all the way to Malta and not get on a sodding boat. So I did…and it was great!

On the ferry NOT being sick...
On the ferry NOT being sick…

I’d booked myself into the local Italian for an 8pm sitting so after an hour of chilling on the trusty hotel rooftop terrace (with, yes, another Pina Colada), I trundled downstairs and headed to the Mareluna italian restaurant. This turned out to be my favourite place to dine in Malta – the food was impeccable and the service second to none. They didn’t show any sign of bemusement when I asked for a table for one, and treated me with the utmost attention. Although I was really enjoying my time alone, I really relished the chance to chat to strangers and the staff at the Mareluna were brilliant. I’m not sure if it was pitying attention they were giving me, but in any case, it was appreciated.

Tiramisu joygasms
Tiramisu joygasms at the Mareluna

So that was the end to my day 2, and I felt completely satisfied that I had ticked so much off my list – swimming, using the local buses, seeing the capital, using a segway, making friends with George and my random little chinese pals…and getting on a ferry without projectile vomiting. A personal high if ever there was one.

Back to my room I went, for some more texting and terrible Maltese TV viewing. I was having the time of my life, and I was super excited to see what the next day would bring. Other than the inevitable indigestion from smashing back a giant bowl of pasta and Tiramisu the size of my head.

St Georges Square
St Georges Square

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